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I don't want the ocean in my seashell  So I haven't been on the internet much. It really wasn't because it's terribly hard or inconvenient to get on, it's just that my old laptop was so damn difficult to use. The L key and the backspace didn't work, the screen would go dark sometimes, the speakers didn't work, the CD drive was broken. Plus it was heavy, cracked and warped. So I finally found the time to get myself a new laptop. I was thinking HP but I wound up with a Toshiba because the specks were exactly the same and $100 cheaper. So I'm getting use to the feel of it and such and I may be on a little more often now since it's not so difficult to type or surf the internet anymore. As for work, things have been going well here. We're a little over staffed but it's not bothering me much. I decided to stick around through the Hallow-weekends and re-apply for the EPIK program in spring or fall of next year. This will give me time to have an actual wedding. Plus I kind of like it here now that's I've really made some friends and am socializing and such. I've been trying to keep up with personal journaling so I can rememeber this summer. As cheesey as it sounds I will miss it when it's over. I haven't been taking many pictures either so I'm worried it'll all fade too quickly. I've been going to more activities and such and it is a lot more fun than a full nights sleep. hahaha. Well, there's too much to be said so I'll just pick up from this point and update my LJ a little more often again. It still won't be terribly frequent since my social life is much more interesting than sitting around on the internet all day. Current mood:  giddy.
So my day stated off yesterday with meeting Dick Kinzel. The day itself was fairy ordinary and good and didn't get interesting until the evening. I went out to Louie's for the first time with some of my crew. It was alright but it just wasn't doing it for me so I decided to head back. While on my way back I meet a guy in the parking lot and we get to talking and I end up going back to his room for a sprite. (Though he still totally owes me going out for drinks ;P) We talk for a little while more and then I leave to go back to my apartment. But then I come across Keven. So I go hang out with him for a while and before you know it it's 2am. It was much more interesting than I'm making it sound here but I'm not going to tell all the details since some of it is secret Cedar Point employee only stuff. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I have privileged information! Also, some it was flirty and I've been getting enough hassle from my crew about flirting while engaged. And so my private life stays private. Imagine that; not posting the most intimate details about my life on a public forum. Something beyond the youth these days. Now it's off to take a shower (maybe; I might wait until morning) and going to bed. I have a split tomorrow but then a 1:30 close Wednesday so I could potentially do some more hanging out tomorrow night. Then I have to wait until my day off on Sunday before I can do stuff again without worry of losing sleep. I'm still conflicted as to whether I should stay around here or go to the new apartment and unpack my stuff and see Robert and such. I suppose we'll see as my social life progresses over the next few days. Current mood:  amused.
Things seem to be going well here at Cedar Point. I like it here and I have a pretty awesome crew. I'll see about getting some pictures up since I think my uniform is rather adorable. Many guests would agree though I'm still not sure who's being sincere and who isn't. No matter. As far as plans for this fall, if I can get my transcripts and a copy of my diploma to the consulate before June 10th I think I'm pretty much in for the Korea program. Now to throw a curve ball into the plans, I have a phone interview on Sunday for an English teaching job in Japan as well. Now I'm debating whether to go with the familiar and go to Japan or go with something new and go to Korea. As simple a decision as that may sound, I am struggling. I am leaning a little more towards Korea since Japan will be a short trip away in case I do want something slightly more familiar. This also leaves the precarious topic of marriage. As in, when do I? It will be a very small and probably slightly hurried event. Much like the marriages soldiers would have before being shipped off the war (and my suggestion of marrying before I leave has brought up this comparison from others.) Except I'll be teaching them instead of shooting them; a distinct difference. I don't know, I just don't want to leave Robert hanging another one or two years. Life is so complicated! In a good way I suppose. I guess I should be glad these are the difficult decisions I have to make. Current mood:  contemplative.
So my quest for a new digital camera will hopefully soon come to an end. First I almost bought an Olympus but realized I'd have to get an xD card instead of being able to use my SD card. Then I bought a GE but it records in QuickTime .MOV format so that's no good for me since I don't want to go through the hassle of always converting my videos. Last night I got a Polaroid and although the touch screen loses it's charm after about 5 minutes it's a pretty good camera. However, it picks up very little audio in video mode. I'm not looking to make professional video's or anything but I would like to be abel to hear what people are saying regularly and not just be able to take it to loud events and not have overwhelming audio. So, I'm going to exchange it for the same model and see if it's just that particular camera. If it was just a defective unit, I'll stick with the new one. If it's that the model is just crappy on audio, I'll get the Cannon (despite being a horrendous color.) I have a slight feeling of just getting the Cannon anyway since I can't find my camera model on the Polaroid website. A bad sign if you ask me. So, fingers crossed, I'll have a good fully functional digital camera by the end of today. This is so much more hassle than it needs to be, damnit! Current mood:  aggravated.
I picked up a new swimsuit for the first time in three years. Don't get all grossed out. I didn't wear my swimsuit for the past three year, I only wore it the first year I had it and then I just haven't worn it since nor replace it. Anyway, it's not for any lack of self confidence or a negative self image, but I decided to go with a one piece this year. It's slimming and comfortable. Modest, yet still sexy. Now to make sure I have plenty of opportunity to wear it this summer. I'm pretty sure I can go to the water park at Cedar Point on my days off or there could even be a day where I can go there anyway for free. Yay, summer! Oh, right. Three more weeks of school. Better get those research papers done. Current mood:  sexy.
I have this memory from elementary school. We were at the quarterly awards ceremony and they were giving out the various awards for every one in our class. I can't remember what grade it was, but that's not important. I remember this one particular time everybody got an award of some type except Troy (I think that was him name but, once again, not important) There was a stifled giggle from the crowd (hey, c'mon, we were kids. Kids are cruel) and I will admit I didn't have many nice thoughts either. He wasn't much of an achiever. No straight A's, no perfect attendance, and I think there was some other trivial award they gave out too but I don't recall. Anyway, he didn't receive any of them so he was the only one left sitting at the table making it very obvious he was the only one in the class without any sort of award and I did feel a little sorry for him. Today, I think I felt a little of what he might have felt. It wasn't something outstandingly obvious like in elementary school but I had a hitting a brick wall realization I haven't done anything outstanding my four year here. Nearly all my classmates from my Japanese classes and many people I knew in the Japanese program received awards of some sort. Some for high GPAs, some for community activities, others for other sorts of achievements. And me? I've been average. I'll graduate with a B- cumulative GPA, (2.9 or 3.0) I wasn't involved with the community to the extent I'd get an award for it although, don't get me wrong, I have been involved. I never rose above, led the crowd, or did more than was asked of me. I certainly did better than just scraping by but still..... I just feel so.... average Current mood:  left out.
It's April 6th and it's snowing.... RAGE!!!!!! Current mood:  frustrated.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Current mood: frustrated.
Just came across an interesting article here about Dora the Explorer getting a tween makeover. Yeah, Mattel, way to perpetuate female attituids of consuption and beauty. Let's explore the mall! It's sooo much more interesting than using your imagination and learning. I realize they are just looking to expand their market. The original Dora is going to stick around too. And I've never really watched the show. But this just feels wrong somehow. It's as bad as Barbie getting tattoos. Sure there are bigger fish to fry in society and Barbie wasn't the best role model in the first place but this is sexualizing girls at a younger and younger age. Has anyone else read the reports about how the number of teen pregnancy and unwed mothers is up, up, and away. I'm not calling for a moral crusade or anything but what is the big mystery of why this is happening when girls are subconsciuosly being taught to dress sexy at an age when they don't know how to handle sexuality. Current mood:  WTF.
Robert needs white noise to get anything done. I prefer silence. Not, like, dead silence, but I do need quiet. He needs white noise while he's working on his varios projects. I need quiet while working on my research papers. I've been bugging him lately about how he hasn't been working on any of his projects so now he is woking on them but that makes a little too much white noise for me to do any good on my papers. It's hard enough to write this entry with Star Wars playing in the background. It's not that I want to watch it, it's just noisy. So I think I'll be spending a lot more time outside the house the next three weeks. I've got my papers started and if I could have a few days of quiet I can get them done. But I have to keep coming home to cook for him or he'll just eat cookie dough for dinner. It's his perogative but it bugs me knowing that he doesn't have enough initiative to take care of himself. Or maybe it's that I worry too much about him when I don't need to do so. Just a few more weeks..... Current mood:  stressed.
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